November 16, 2009 § Leave a comment
We hopefully are all born into this world with eager, loving parents waiting to clasp us to their chests and promise us many years of unconditional love and support. However, for many of us, the ‘warm hearth’ and loving family we dream of is not reflected back to us in reality. Some of us become bitter. Others are ready to sell off a part of themselves to feel as if they ‘belong’, that they are part of a group and loved. There are some of us who become hard-bitten, cynical, deciding to resent the world for not making us feel loved and appreciated.
The older I get, the more I return to a childlike appreciation of the simple things- this morning, the day was like a diamond, with a cool breeze, a cloudless blue sky and that rarity of rarities- at least in LA- a clear view to the horizon! Ok.. maybe that’s an embellishment… but you get the sense of it. The day made me happy. Now, as I sit here in the evening, waiting for my beloved, my girlfriend to come home and eat pizza with me, I am so grateful to have found my chosen family, the person with whom I can create a warm, loving environment, the very place that is the bedrock of fulfillment, contentment and, dare I say, happiness. For although happiness by itself is not the human condition, I do believe we are built to be part of a greater sum, part of something loving and warm and supportive. Indeed, I think now that all of our difficulties come from a reaction to a separation from that.
So it is truly miraculous and goddamned fantastic to have found my loved one. Pizza on a sunday night never felt so good.