THE CLEANSE PARTS IV & V : THE LONG SHOWER

August 4, 2011 § Leave a comment

Some might say that concluding a five-part series on my experiences of a five-day cleanse that ended before the third sun had risen may be a trifle redundant.

I would agree wholeheartedly, which is one of the reasons why Parts IV & V arrive together- I simply had nothing valuable or even interesting to say on the third day, certainly not while in the act of stuffing myself. I also allow myself the same license that recent filmmakers have taken; didn’t they shoot all three Lord of the Rings films together? Doesn’t the same go for the second and third installments of the Matrix trilogy? Yes, they were in fact two different movies- in the second, Neo fights Agent Smith. In the third, Neo fights Agent Smith in the rain. A stunning innovation.

I suppose I’m required to say something of food and cleanses at this point, by way of tethering this blog, however feebly, to the first three chapters of the series, but as someone who didn’t finish what they started, let’s face it,  I’m an impostor.

Cleanses are cool. Juice is fun.

Okay, that was Part IV. Now for the finale.

V

Here are my nominees for the Most In Need Of A Cleanse award for this week:

Barack Obama. Actually a firehose-powered shower might be closer to the mark. Another capitulation dressed up as ‘compromise’. Sorry, remind me what the Democrats got in this deal? Obama continues to look like either a timid and naive fool (as evidenced by the replaying all over the media of his press conference last year where he said, in response to being challenged on his self-imposed weak negotiating position in advance of the upcoming debt ceiling fight, that he would take the new leader of the House, John Boehner, at his word that he wouldn’t hold the country hostage over raising the ceiling – whoops) or a cynical politician who is quite happy to embrace Republican policies if it means winning another election, a calculation that may well blow up in his face anyway.

The ‘Impartial’ Beltway Media

I nearly totalled my car on Friday when I heard an NPR reporter (aren’t they supposed to be smart and.. a little bit truthful?) say that the stalled negotiations were due to a unwillingnes to compromise. Excuse me? If only that were true. Thankfully for her, I can’t recall this reporter’s name but it seems that, if her comment is anything to go by, this dishonest hack’s idea of a Democratic compromise would mean a return to institutionalized slavery and Rush Limbaugh taking over as chairman of the DNC. Add water and repeat for the rest of the corporate media who trade reality and integrity for ‘balance’.

People Who Fail To Finish What They Start (or, to be more specific, Me)

I’m embarrassed. Like our President, I capitulated. Like our President, I sold out to avoid discomfort. Like our President, I’ve left my supporters feeling angry, cheated, let down, deceived. Luckily, the sun rises and we get another chance to move forward, to grow, to be the best we can be, to be true to ourselves and our deepest principles.

But not tonight. I’m taking a long shower with Barack, and it might take a while to wash the shame away.

Picture : Our impostor-in-chief.

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